Reverend Ref +

Giants win

2012-02-05T19:41:00.000-08:00

Buggers.

Sorry, Dawn.

Feast of St. Vincent

2012-02-04T21:16:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow, February 5, is the High Holy Feast Day of St. Vincent.

That means that I'm wearing my special clergy shirt that Jane made for me several years ago. I'm not sure where the picture of it is, but it looks something like this:

Except that she managed to sew down the collar so that I could slip a clergy-collar into it for use on Sundays. I wear it once a year on Super Bowl Sunday.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, the sermon only has one minor football reference in it -- the rest of the sermon really does talk about preaching the gospel.

Annual Meeting

2012-01-29T15:13:00.001-08:00

We had our annual meeting at church today. One service at 9 a.m. so that the 8 a.m. crowd didn't have to come back and the 10:30 crowd had to come early.

This was really my first annual meeting as the rector. Yeah, I know . . . I was the rector at last year's annual meeting; but I had only been on the job for just under two months, so all I really did was write up something that talked about how happy I was to be there, say how happy I was to be there and that I was looking forward to the upcoming year, and then listen to my senior warden lead us through the meeting and financial reports.

This year it was all mine, baby.

I formatted things a little differently. My new treasurer did a great job with her presentation. We elected new vestry members and convention delegates. And then we shared a potluck meal.

It was a good meeting with good food and a good nap afterwards. And now I've got about 30 minutes until I watch a meaningless football game.

New America 27

2012-01-27T09:51:00.000-08:00

Have you seen these commercials about a "very wealthy" U.S. citizen making a "dire prediction" for the upcoming year?

I started seeing them in late December and continuing through most of this month. This dire prophecy is predicting major changes for the way we live -- how we shop, live and education our children. "It will have a major impact on your life." It comes across as yet another, Harold Camping end-time prediction.

Aside from not putting a whole lot of stock in any end of the world predictions, this one was never worth even minor consideration.

In December, the prediction was that "in 2011 we will experience the most important day in our history."

In January, the prediction was that "in 2011 we will experience the most important day in our history."

And today, the prediction is that "in the near future we will experience the most important day in our history."

If this "very wealthy U.S. citizen" can't even afford to hire a proof reader, then I'm not the least bit interested in watching his video.

Murphy's Law

2012-01-26T08:32:00.000-08:00

A few months ago, one of my aging parishioners commented that it was getting harder to follow the service in the BCP even when he was wearing his glasses. He wondered if there were such a thing as a large print BCP. I did some looking around and found that, yes, there is a large print BCP.

We put announcements in the bulletin and asked people to donate some money so that we could order ten of them. Which we did. They aren't perfect. The publisher didn't paginate them the same as the standard BCP (so instead of beginning on page 355, the service begins on page 96). They didn't include all four forms of the Rite Two service. They didn't include all six forms of the Prayers of the People. What they did was to only print "the most commonly used" portions.

Again, not perfect, but better than nothing for those people who aren't able to read the standard BCP.

Yesterday one of my parishioners and our organist started the long process of cleaning out the choir room. Eliminating copies of "contemporary praise music" from 1973, organizing, cleaning, tossing, etc.

And, of course, finding. They found, tucked away in a corner, underneath a pile of old papers, four COMPLETE BOXED SETS of the Hymnal 1982 and the BCP -- large print versions.

There are three boxed sets of the hymnal and one box of the BCP. Complete. Large Print.

Why does this always happen after you've made a purchase??

Things I miss

2012-01-24T14:13:00.000-08:00

One of the things I did while in Montana was to hold a service at the local nursing home once a month. I got to know a few of the residents rather well and enjoyed spending part of my Sunday with them.

After a couple of years of doing this, one of the residents, Pat, told me that she wanted me to do her funeral. And probably during every visit she would remind me, "Now remember, I want you to do my funeral . . . but let's not rush it."

I got a phone call today from my former deacon. She was gathering funeral information because Pat reminded everyone that I was supposed to do the funeral and, as it turns out, it's looking like she's going to die in the near future.

One of the things I miss most is not being there for people I grew very attached to. So, Pat, this is for you:

Into your hand, O merciful Savior, we commend your servant Pat. Acknowledge, we humbly beseech you, a sheep of your own fold, a lamb of your own flock, a sinner of your own redeeming. Receive her into the arms of your mercy, into the blessed rest of everlasting peace, and into the glorious company of the saints in light.

Rest eternal grant to her, O Lord; and let light perpetual shine upon her. Amen.

Progress

2012-01-23T21:35:00.000-08:00

So, because I have nothing theological insightful or politically astute or anything anywhere near the caliber of much better people with much better blogs to say, I'll just blather on about how I'm making progress with my five-mile run.

I ran today and knocked about three minutes off my time from the other day. This means that I managed to get down under 50 minutes. Not by a lot, mind you, but it's under 50. If I really get serious about this, I actually might get down to the 40 minute mark. That's my serious goal anyway.

My long-term goal is as it ever is -- be ready for football season so that I don't die after a game.

Not Bad

2012-01-20T21:56:00.000-08:00

So a post or two down I was bemoaning the fact that my running route that I thought was 5 miles turned out to only be 4.65 miles and I was terribly frustrated that my "under 50 minute" time was no longer a reality.

As it turns out, it's a closer reality than I had originally thought. I managed to run my truly-5 miles in 51 minutes and 28 seconds. Of course, that's the unofficial time based on when I choose to start and stop my watch, but I come pretty close, and I'm happy with it. Of course, the legs are a little sore; so I'll let them rest the rest of this weekend before hitting the road again on Monday.

If I manage to keep this up, I'll be more than ready for the next football season.

Sermon for Sunday

2012-01-18T15:41:00.000-08:00

I'm busy designing a sermon around the Flux Capacitor.

That is all.

Damn

2012-01-16T17:18:00.001-08:00

So I started running several weeks ago. It's January and it feels like April or May -- or at least, what I remember Aprils and Mays being like. I've been doing pretty good all in all, especially when I managed to do five miles in about 50 minutes.

That is, until today. Today I actually went and drove my route. Turns out I've only been running 4.65 miles. So much for being impressed about getting my time down under 50 minutes lately.

Next time I run, I'll extend the route to where I think five miles should be. And then, after I get that down to an acceptable time, I'll go drive it to see how I'm actually doing.

On the plus side, I did manage to run my 4.65 miles in less time today; even after being sick last week.

There might be snow

2012-01-16T14:00:00.000-08:00

As I headed out for church yesterday morning, there were big flakes coming down. The kind of snowflakes that, had I been living in places where I've lived in the past, I would have said, "Oh boy . . . here it comes."

But I do not live in places where I've lived in the past. I live here. And those flakes simply faded away like dust bunnies scurrying back under the bed.

Several people were absent from church yesterday because of the road conditions.

I received a call today from the chair of a diocesan board I now serve on cancelling tomorrow's meeting because the weather report indicated there might be snow.

Lately I've been working on my "gentle tone of understanding" I present to people when given this excuse. As opposed to the (probably overly) snarky response of, "Are you serious?? You're canceling because there **might** be snow? Whatever."

Better

2012-01-14T10:02:00.000-08:00

I'm not 100% better, but I must be on the mend and close to 100% because last night involved a dream of a football game and eating sausage between quarters.

Recovering

2012-01-13T11:22:00.000-08:00

I wasn't exactly praying to die, but I wouldn't have minded if I did.

All that seems to have passed and I'm on the road to recovery. And now I'm in that in-between stage of being very hungry because I haven't really eaten anything for the past couple of days and being very wary about eating anything because . . . well . . . you know.

I will probably also wait until next week to begin running again. Although it really is a beautiful day that just seems to be calling . . . Instead, I'll just hang around the house doing laundry. That seems to be enough post-illness exercise for the day.

More Bad News

2012-01-11T19:38:00.000-08:00

Still not better . . . ick.

And learned today that Hostess filed for bankruptcy.

Also learned that they make something called Yodels and Ring Dings. I've never heard of these things, but judging from the picture in the article, they are what I have always known as HoHo's and Ding Dongs.

I wonder if this is an East Coast/West Coast thing; much like Best Foods mayonnaise out here is known as Hellman's back there (which I never knew until I moved to Chicago).

If I was up to it, I'd go by myself a box of Ding Dongs.

Porcelain Gods

2012-01-11T07:51:00.000-08:00

Yeah . . . last night and today are a lot like that.

Dammit.

Goodbye, Farewell and Amen

2012-01-09T21:28:00.000-08:00

I was reminded that today was the last day my seminary, Seabury-Western, spent in their hallowed chapel.

It was also the first day spent in their new location.

Like many other alums, I wish I could have been there.

The school and people said goodbye to a place that has meant so much to so many. I was not the first person to spend time alone in that place in prayer, worship and quiet. I knew that by, among other things, the stone steps that were worn down by countless others who had gone before me. Nor was I the last.

It was in that chapel where I sat, alone, as a prospective student knowing that that is where I was meant to spend my seminary life.

It was in that chapel where my new friends and I signed The Book and matriculated.

It was in that chapel where we processed out following a papier mache boar's head.

It was in that chapel where we said goodbye to a classmate lost to cancer.

And now they've formally said their goodbyes and moved on to a new adventure, a new way of educating, a new way of being.

Seabury as I knew it is dead. But Seabury as a new, resurrected way of being is just beginning. And today reminds us that it's not about our magnificent buildings, beautiful stained glass, ancient stones or new carpet. It's about recognizing that resurrection comes after death and having the courage to live into resurrection rather than trying to stubbornly hang on to something that will eventually die anyway.

D-Day

2012-01-08T07:23:00.000-08:00

Today is the day the former rector returns as a parishioner to the parish.

I can't help but think of it as my own personal D-Day.

The only thing left to do is to get on with business as usual.

All Alone Today

2012-01-07T08:30:00.000-08:00

The girls are heading north today to catch a production of "West Side Story," leaving me all alone today and most of tomorrow.

I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do with myself. I'll probably mope around, begin taking down Christmas decorations now that Epiphany has come and gone, and maybe start getting organized for tax season.

I did some research this morning and found a few football games on.

There's some bowl game or other between SMU and Pittsburgh.

There's the FCS (formerly Division 1-AA) Championship Game between Sam Houston State (who beat both Montana schools - Boo!! - to get there) and North Dakota State University (otherwise known as ODSU here -- that's a different story).

North Dakota isn't Montana, but I guess I'll be watching and rooting for them.

And then, of course, we've got the first two games of the NFL Wildcard Weekend: Cincinnati at Houston and Detroit at New Orleans.

Not sure how I'll cope. I mean, how can a Championship Game and two other playoff games even compare to this:

*sigh*

Evangelism

2012-01-04T10:57:00.000-08:00

An acquaintance of mine (a football ref friend, actually) has, in the past couple of weeks, sent me an e-mail wishing me Merry Christmas and a link to a 9/11 video that I "might be able to use in a sermon sometime."

Before that, out of the blue, he called me up inviting me to go with him to an out-of-the-way fitness program.

In one respect this is rather nice in that a friendship outside of the church and beyond the football season may be developing.

I'm just wondering now how I might invite him to church without him thinking that anytime he sends me "church stuff" he's going to get the evangelism talk.

Yep . . . evangelism is just as hard for priests.

How Bizarre

2012-01-04T08:51:00.000-08:00

This is the first place I have lived in a very, very long time where I can go run or bike and see people mowing lawns on January 2.

This can't be normal.

Work Schedules

2012-01-02T18:42:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow the girls go back to school. They're sad. Me . . . not so much.

"What are you going to do when you get a job where you have to work until 5 with no spring break, summer vacation or Christmas vacation?" I asked, when The Kid was complaining about being in school.

"I'm going to get a job like yours where you only work four days a week; because, you know, Sundays don't really count as work."

All righty then.

Home

2012-01-01T21:29:00.000-08:00

We're back home from my first official vacation at the new place. We had a good Christmas Eve and Christmas day. After Christmas Day service we packed up and headed north to drop my M-i-L off at her son's house before she went back home. The rest of us went on up to the Sea-Tac area to visit my folks and take our exchange daughter for a day in Seattle.

While there I managed to get a decent sermon written for today, the Feast of the Holy Name. Got home on Friday, did nothing but decompress, then did all the laundry the next day.

Today went fairly well. I seemed to forget a few things here and there, but we all survived. The office desk is a mess, the in-box is full, and tomorrow is a recognized holiday.

I'll get to it all on Tuesday.

Merry Christmas

2011-12-25T06:58:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas to all of you. May you have a blessed Christmas season and a happy and safe New Year.

Our 5 and 11 services went well. I've got two hours until the 9 a.m. service this morning, and then the fam is off for a little vacation.

Be safe.

NFL Saturday

2011-12-24T09:10:00.000-08:00

Lots of NFL games on the schedule today. Normally, when the NFL takes over Saturdays from the college ranks, I get to enjoy a whole day of pro football.

However . . . today is Christmas Eve. Which means that I won't get to spend the whole day on the couch watching games. Because, you know, I've got a job.

The disappointment of not being able to spend all day on the couch watching games is eased by the knowledge that in just about five hours from now I'll be swinging a thurible and smoking up the church.

Merry Christmas, everyone.

Something New

2011-12-23T10:00:00.001-08:00

I was watching the ~~coveted~~ rather pointless Maaco Las Vegas Bowl last night featuring the #7 team in the country, 11-1 Boise State, take on a dejected, unranked and less-than-mediocre 6-6 Arizona State team.

I won't get into how BSU got screwed yet again for being "that cute little school in Idaho with the blue turf." Nothing that I can say or post will change how the system (doesn't) work.

But as I was watching the Broncos run wild over the Sun Devils, I heard something from the referee that I've never heard before.

On two occasions there were flags on an ASU player that were announced as, "Unsporstmanship like conduct . . . defense . . . "

Never heard it referred to as "unsportsmanship like" before.

I'll just chalk it up to nerves on the part of the referee and hope he catches some good-natured ribbing from his friends.

Christmas Sermons

2011-12-20T09:57:00.001-08:00

I hate it when I know what I would like to say, but the words and structure don't want to come out.

"Well, I had a good idea for a Christmas sermon and new life and light and babies, but it never got past the idea stage, so I'll just say, "Merry Christmas," just doesn't cut it for a sermon.

I'm hearing Stadler and Waldorf in the background:

"I liked it."

"Yeah . . . it was SHORT."

Respect

2011-12-17T09:29:00.000-08:00

We're sitting around this morning watching football and talking about societal respect.

I won't get into it all, but the situation of differences between the U.S. and Europe came up.

The Kid, who was in Europe for a year, piped up and said, "No . . . not really. No matter where you go, boys are still boys."

Yep. Good to know that she learned something from me.

P.S.A.

2011-12-11T06:14:00.000-08:00

I know that all eight of my readers are too old for me to actually tell them how to behave. So instead, let me offer a strong . . . suggestion.

It's probably not a good idea, when at the annual company Christmas party, to drink alcohol to the extent that you not only become staggering drunk but also become dehydrated to the point where you need to be sat down by several people, eventually falling off the chair on the verge of passing out on the dance floor but managing to drunk-punch a corporate partner before actually passing out, forcing people to call 911 where the arriving medics need to treat you and carry you out of the party on a stretcher leaving a pool of vomit to be cleaned up by the Country Club staff.

That sort of puts a damper on the whole office party festivities.

Just sayin'.

Woo Hoo

2011-12-09T16:49:00.000-08:00

So I'm sitting on the couch with The Kid looking through Cakewrecks (a fine father/daughter tradition) and generally hanging out with ESPN on in the background.

AND GUESS WHAT??

There's a football game on tonight. I thought I'd be forced to surf through basketball games and bad reruns, but there's a game on tonight.

And, to make it even better, it's a Quarter Final game in the division that actually crowns its national champion through a playoff system.

And to make things even more better, the game involves the University of Montana -- in Missoula. Having spent six years in Big Sky country, I'm pulling for the Grizzlies.

Which means, if you're a betting person, you better bet on their opposition, because I never win. But I'll be rooting for them just the same.

Liters, Peddars and Pink Candles

2011-12-04T12:37:00.000-08:00

Amusing day today at the late service.

During Advent, we ask someone (or someones) from the congregation to come forward and light the Advent wreath for that day while the congregation and I pray the Collect of the Day in unison.

This is yet ANOTHER new way of doing things that I've introduced into my (not so) new parish and last week it was handled perfectly.

Today, however, was a different matter. The person selected is hard of hearing and tends to plow through things his way. This is not always bad, as he gets a lot of stuff done around the church. He is also the parish cook and does a fabulous job. But the guy's got the energy of Calvin.

Anyway, he was instructed to light two blue candles when I called him forward. Well, he didn't really hear those instructions and commenced to lighting ALL the candles, beginning with the pink one. It was quite the comedy as we tried to get him to slow down, just light two, and extinguish the pink.

And then the person reading the epistle from Peter today introduced it as, "A reading from the Second Liter of Pedder."

He did correct himself.

But we all had a good time, God was praised in the worship, and the sermon didn't suck. That's about all you can ask for on a Sunday morning.

Yeah, it's just me

2011-12-01T08:40:00.000-08:00

I was watching ESPN2 before going to work this morning and saw this commercial.

It's the Fathead commercial featuring Clay Matthews from the Green Bay Packers.

I happened to glance at the image on the TV in the commercial and saw a referee indicating holding (probably against the offense). But what was interesting was that it wasn't an NFL official -- he was from the CFL.

Here's a link to a picture of a CFL crew.

Did anyone else notice that?

Yeah . . . No . . . it's just me.

Well that's cool

2011-11-30T16:04:00.000-08:00

My mom had surgery today. It was planned and everything seemed to go just fine.

My sister sent out an e-mail giving room number and phone number, and a link to the hospital's "Care Card" program.

They have a system to send internal get well cards to patients in that hospital. It's better than online Hallmark.

Rivalry Weekend and Neil Diamond, Part 2

2011-11-29T20:04:00.000-08:00

So I was out with my Senior Warden and I brought this question up about wondering why "Sweet Caroline" was being sung at Big Ten football games.

According to her, it's apparently a Glee thing. You know . . . that show on FOX where kids sing and dance in the hallways like they do at every high school in America.

Anyway, apparently "Sweet Caroline" made a Glee appearance and it's now taking Big Ten stadiums by storm.

Bar Night

2011-11-29T19:17:00.000-08:00

I've now been in my new town for one year. A year ago today the moving van offloaded our goods into the office and the house. A year ago this week we were organizing said office and house.

And, after a year of getting settled in, I've finally found a bar to start visiting. It's right down the alley from the office, and, as luck would have it, is actually called The Office.

I was in there tonight with my Senior Warden. It's a good little place with a pool table and a local character who has a penchant for bad religious jokes.

Now to just fit it into my schedule.

Rivalry Weekend and Neil Diamond

2011-11-26T11:23:00.000-08:00

This is the biggest weekend in college football in my opinion.

Ohio State/Michigan; Pitt/West Virginia; USC/UCLA; Oregon/Oregon State; Washington/Washington State; Georgia/Georgia Tech; Auburn/Alabama.

All kinds of good games. Locally, everyone around here is looking forward to The Civil War between the Ducks and Beavers. I'm more interested in the Apple Cup between the Cougars and Huskies.

I am currently watching a much better-than-anticipated game between the Buckeyes and Wolverines. OSU is currently holding their own and it's been a back and forth game so far.

However, I am confused about one thing. This is the second Big Ten With Twelve Teams game I've watched this year and in both games the PA system was playing "Sweet Caroline" and everybody in the stadium was singing along.

What's the significance of that song? Did Neil Diamond attend a Big Ten When There Were Ten school? Did Caroline attend there? Inquiring minds need to know.

IHFC

2011-11-23T08:47:00.000-08:00

I come in to the office in the morning, turn on the computer, work on a document and try to print it out.

I won't print.

Secretary: Try turning your computer off and then on again.

Me: Wouldn't you think I did that from yesterday night to this morning?

And, of course, it prints every time.

Yesterday I worked on the lector schedule that the person in charge of lectors sent to me. I needed to correct some typos and fill in some blanks and whatnot. There was one question yet to be answered when I went home last night that has now been answered. So I went to pull up my document to update it and . . .

The computer has filed that document somewhere in its brain that I cannot locate.

IHFC.

Smiles and Memories

2011-11-21T13:08:00.000-08:00

We will be returning to Montana next May to witness the graduation of one of my former parishioners and give congratulations for the graduation of another. Word of that trip got out and I was asked if I would be willing to preside and preach at Eucharist when we are there. I, of course, said yes.

I have very fond memories of that small church and the people whom I served and am looking forward to the trip.

I shot an e-mail to my former bishop telling him of the trip and asking permission to preside at Eucharist within his diocese (now that I'm elsewhere, it's the proper thing to do). I rather enjoyed my time working with and for him, and I felt that we had a good rapport and friendship. He was, though, for all of his good qualities, a man of very few words. Usually succinct and to the point, he was.

In my e-mail, I sent him greetings, hoped that things were going well for him and the diocese, mentioned the two upcoming graduations, our trip back to Montana, the request to preside at worship service while there, and formally asked permission to do this.

His reply: "Yes."

Some things never change. :-)

Words and Perceptions

2011-11-19T08:07:00.000-08:00

What we say matters. What we say can affect the perceptions of people around us.

I watched a great football game last night between unranked Iowa State and #2 ranked Oklahoma State. ISU won in double overtime. What helped send the game into OT was a field goal attempt by OSU from the left hash that went wide right.

If you saw that kick, you saw that the ball appeared to go over the top of the upright. The camera angle was a little off, so it's difficult to tell on video exactly what the path of the ball was. The official who ruled on that kick was positioned directly under the upright and, obviously, was in a better position to make that call than a cameraman slightly off to the side.

The kick was no good, the game went into overtime, ISU ended up winning, fans stormed the field and pandemonium ensued. Great game.

I've been listening to recaps of that game this morning. Without fail, every sportscaster has said, "The kick appears to go right over the upright but is ruled no good."

That's a problem. The way that statement is worded, it gives the perception that the official missed the call. I don't work college ball, but I'm 100 percent certain that the NCAA rule on field goals (and PAT's for that matter) reads the same as the high school rule: The kicked ball shall pass between the vertical uprights or the inside of the uprights extended and above the crossbar of the opponent's goal.

The ball shall pass between the vertical uprights or the inside of the uprights extended. That means that if the ball passes OVER the upright, it's no good. That means that the official got it right.

The sportscasters should be saying, "The kick appears to go right over the upright which, by rule, makes it no good." Or words to that affect. Because what is said by sportscasters might cause people to think the ruling official was wrong. And really, officials could use more positive PR.

What we say matters because what we say affects perceptions of those around us about others.

On this eve of Christ the King Sunday, what words are you using about Christ and how are those words affecting the perception of others about the faith we proclaim?

FINALLY

2011-11-18T15:21:00.000-08:00

After a good 2-1/2 hours of messing around on websites giving personal information, last four digits of our social, birth date, mother's maiden name, password, new password, account number, texting Mrs. Ref for the expiration date, waiting for an answer, texting Mrs. Ref for the CVC, waiting for an answer, choosing super-secret security question number one, choosing super-secret security question number two, choosing a super-secret security icon . . .

I was able to FINALLY get to the screen that allowed me to make a payment to the credit card. And, because of two jobs that pay well (TBTG) and managing the home budget, I was able to pay off the final balance of the final credit card.

I'm that much closer to being a big boy.

Finally.

Rough Times

2011-11-17T12:29:00.000-08:00

Two members of my parish are getting a divorce.

Their stories are diametrically opposed and seem to have no common ground whatsoever.

It's going to get even worse than it is now, I think.

And I'm wondering how this is going to affect the rest of the parish.

Prayers welcome.

Bummer

2011-11-14T14:58:00.000-08:00

I am 99.9% sure that I have worked my last game of the season.

That sentence came from two posts down.

The 0.1% just called. I was invited to work a playoff game this Saturday.

The details are: Saturday, 11/19, 1 p.m., Back Judge

The reality: It's the weekend of the Bishop's visitation and he's meeting with me and the vestry Saturday afternoon.

As much as I wanted to work the game, I had to turn it down.

The things I do for my bishop.

Automatic

2011-11-09T14:43:00.000-08:00

With the exception of two particular times of specified length, I have driven a manual transmission car. That means a car with a stick. Those two exceptions were driver's ed and my parents van.

The very first car I learned to drive was a stick. My parents' truck was a 3-speed on-the-column truck. Every car I have ever owned has been a stick.

Until now.

Circumstances dictated that we trade our beloved Mazda with 196,000+ miles on it in for something with lower mileage and something that was cheaper to pay off than the repair bill on the Mazda would have been. So we bought a used car. It's an automatic.

Shortly after arriving at the new parish, the vestry decided to help me out by having the parish purchase a vehicle for me. I was given a not-to-exceed amount and told to go find something decent. In essence, it's a company car. I found a 2009 Honda Accord with right around 10,000 miles on it within the allowed budget. It too is an automatic.

I've been doing pretty good with both of them. My hand still falls to the gear shift every now and then, but I haven't ever done IT. Until yesterday.

Yesterday, as I was driving home, something caught my attention and my body reacted the way it has for basically all of my 30-years of driving . . . the clutch foot reached for the pedal. Unfortunately, the only pedal to be found was the brake. Thank God for seat belts.

I went home saying, "Repeat after me: It's an automatic . . . it's an automatic . . . it's an automatic."

Done

2011-11-06T21:38:00.000-08:00

I am 99.9% sure that I have worked my last game of the season. It was relatively anti-climactic with a 51-7 drubbing and an attempted night out with the crew at the local pizza parlor which closed at 10 on a Friday night in a small town.

Playoffs are right around the corner, but for a first year guy in an association, the possibility of working a playoff game is practically non-existent. But that's okay.

I had a good year, made more good calls than bad, and enjoyed working with more people than not.

So my uniform is washed, folded and put away. Shoes have been cleaned and polished for next year. The only thing left to do is enjoy the end-of-the-year banquet and wait until next year.

So What's New?

2011-11-01T16:26:00.000-07:00

Not much, really.

We had some visitors at church this past Sunday who found us via the internet. We don't have the greatest website, but it's apparently functional enough for people to find us. That's a good thing.

I thought I had officiated my last game this past Friday, but I was scheduled for one more this Friday. I don't have to pack everything up just yet.

I preached my first "hard" sermon on Sunday that actually went over well. Although I would have preferred not to have finished it at 10 p.m. the night before.

I spent all day Saturday being officially trained on how to prevent sexual misconduct in the church.

Between the game on Friday, an early morning and all day session Saturday, a late night finishing the sermon, and a full day on Sunday, I've managed to contract some disease or such that I'm trying desperately to stave off just enough to not be sick for that last game.

And we had a boatload of Trick-or-Treaters come by the house last night. Our landlord bought us four bags of Costco-sized candy to pass out. I asked her if it was overkill. Her response indicated that we might not have enough based on past history. Well, we didn't run out, but had I not rationed the stuff in the beginning we surely would have.

And that's about all that's new here.

Officiating Mechanics and the Torah

2011-10-26T06:52:00.000-07:00

There are a few rules that only the officials really know and understand. This is mostly a good thing because most of the game is played and officiated under the most common rules.

It's mostly a good thing because, when something weird does happen, the officials can handle it.
It's mostly a good thing because it means that when you watch a football game, you aren't seeing a bunch of weird stuff.

One of the more unknown rules is this: If a foul occurs during the last timed down of a quarter, and if that foul is accepted, there shall be one untimed down.

So, if the clock goes to 0:00 during a run and there's a holding penalty or facemasking penalty that is accepted, you replay the down with 0:00 on the clock before the quarter change or halftime. That's not too bad.

If you have a false start with 0:03 on the clock, the penalty is accepted, and the clock starts before the snap and runs to 0:00, you must also run a play with 0:00 on the clock.

It seems basic enough. But oftentimes when we have that situation, especially the latter, the teams and coaches begin running to the sidelines and getting ready for the next quarter or running off the field for halftime.

And that, quite frankly, is a pain in the neck to deal with because, by rule, we need to play an untimed down. It's a hassle bringing the players back onto the field. It's a hassle listening to the stadium announcer trying to figure out what's going on. It's a hassle trying to explain this to the coaches.

Several years ago I made a . . . personal revision . . . to the rules book regarding this rule. If we have an accepted foul with seconds left on the clock before the end of a quarter, and if the clock will run after enforcement, and if I know it will go to 0:00 resulting in the need for an untimed down, then I will order the clock to start on the snap and avoid the whole untimed down mess.

I did that at yesterday's game and my umpire was reminding me, "Hot clock, hot clock." I said, "Not this time." He gave me this quizzical look like, "What are you doing??"

I explained all of the above to him and he said, "I like that mechanic."

Sometimes officiating isn't about following the rules verbatim. Sometimes officiating is about conforming to a particular situation within the game while maintaining the game's integrity. And all the time it's about understanding the intent of the rule and how to apply it.

"Teacher," asked the lawyer, "which is the most important commandment in the law?"

Jesus replied, "The first and greatest commandment is this: love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your mind and with all your strength. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets."

It's not about following the commandments verbatim. It's about understanding the intent of the Law and how to apply it. And the intent of this Law is love.

Time Crunch

2011-10-21T12:24:00.000-07:00

I'm working a double header tonight. That's really nothing new. JV games are played on Fridays immediately before the varsity game and often crew members will work both games. Tonight I'm working with one other guy who is also working the varsity game and two other guys who aren't.

It makes for a long day of football and is normally not a big deal (except that I'm VERY tired the next day).

However . . . the varsity game got bumped up to 7 p.m. With the JV game at 4 we are going to be in a serious time crunch. Pregame comments to the JV crew will be, "I expect you to run a lot, no wasted motion, and, unless it's REALLY obvious, everybody is inbounds."

This is going to be like working a hurry-up offense for both teams all game.

Invisible no more

2011-10-20T09:31:00.000-07:00

So much for my plan of "out of sight, out of mind." Because, honestly, if I had it my way, I'd be left alone to concentrate on serving my [not so] little parish here in southern Oregon.

This week I received a letter from the bishop asking me to "consider serving" on the initial diocesan camp board as the diocese transitions from their own, single camp to a camping ministry that makes use of three other camps run and owned by the UMC.

Last night I was nominated to serve on the board for my new football officials' association.

And this morning I opened up my e-mail to a message from the bishop's executive assistant notifying me that the bishop would like to appoint me as dean of the convocation (deanery for some of you).

Guess which one I was most happy to be nominated for?

And is it really possible to tell the bishop, "With all due respect . . . thanks but no thanks."

My Laugh for the Day

2011-10-18T11:15:00.000-07:00

At least once a week, and sometimes more often, officials get an e-mail from the home office about rules interpretation and other things pertaining to our avocation.

This being October, and Breast Cancer Awareness Month, we received a memo today regarding the use of pink stuff. You may have noticed the NFL is going all-pink this month, even the officials have pink highlights here and there.

My laugh came when the OAOA let us know that players were not allowed to wear pink towels because, according to the OSAA Charitable Cause policy, "schools and players may not override rule book requirements regarding equipment or uniform adornments . . . since towels are mandated to be white, they shall be white."

Okay . . . So the OAOA appears to be a bunch of sticks-in-the-mud regarding the possibility of supporting breast cancer awareness. That is, until I read the rest of the memo:

Players are free to wear pink helmets, pink pants, pink socks, pink shoes, pink socks, pink shoelaces and/or pink sweatbands as the color of these items are not restricted by rule.

So, pink-out, dude.

And, if you're wondering, officials can wear pink whistles because the color of those are not specified by rule.

Football knowledge

2011-10-15T21:27:00.001-07:00

It would be helpful if coaches actually read the rules book instead of thinking they know everything about high school football based on their Saturday and Sunday television habits.

Evangelism

2011-10-11T21:18:00.000-07:00

Evangelism comes in all shapes and sizes and for all kinds of products, services and religions.

I was evangelized today by a fellow official who thought I should referee basketball.

I am not a basketball fan. In fact, I'm rather looking forward to the upcoming NBA lockout and pleased that games are already being cancelled. You could not pay me enough to be a basketball referee.

But my colleague was not to be dissuaded so easily. He kept assuring me that reffing basketball was fun. He assured me that it was a great bunch of guys. He assured me that it would be easy. And he assured me that the pay was good.

Finally he informed me that I should be doing basketball because I looked like a basketball referee . . . In other words, relatively tall (5'11") and thin (160 lbs on average).

There are a lot of reasons for evangelizing, but I'm pretty sure that evangelizing people because "they look the part" is not the way to go.

Movie Night

2011-10-06T20:58:00.001-07:00

I instituted a movie night at church; every First Thursday is "Reel Theology," and tonight we watched WALL-e. I alternate between "adult" movies and "kid" movies. Unfortunately I was the youngest person there this time.

On the plus side, we had about 20 people show up which is turning out to be our ATA (Average Thursday Attendance). And we had a good discussion afterwards.

Yep, it was a pretty good night.

Rain

2011-10-05T10:41:00.000-07:00

The rainy season has apparently begun. We went from 80's and 90's to 70's to rain in the space of about a week.

Time to break out the long sleeve shirt and gloves for the rest of my games.

You're a what???

2011-10-03T21:35:00.000-07:00

Apparently not everybody knows I'm a priest.

I took a phone call tonight and answered it like I always do: Hello, this is Rev Ref. Well, except for using my real name.

Anyway . . . the voice on the other end says, "Is this You?"

"Yes."

"You you?"

"Yes."

"You're a reverend??"

"Yes. Who's this?"

"This is Steve."

Steve and I worked a game together last Friday night and we're working a jr. high game together tomorrow. He was calling to let me know what we'd be wearing, and he was apparently unaware of my day job.

New equipment?

2011-10-01T11:48:00.000-07:00

It's a lazy Saturday morning/afternoon and I'm channel flipping through a couple of football games -- namely Air Force/Navy and Texas A&M/Arkansas -- and I seem to be channeling my good friend Jane.

I always watch games to pick up on mechanics, positioning etc. etc. of the officials working the games to try and make my game better. But as I'm watching today, I think I'm seeing the crews wearing new hats. I can't be 100% certain (because the TV coverage doesn't exactly focus on the officials), but it looks like those black hats with white piping now have white piping along the rim of the bill.

And I'm wondering how long it will be before I have to buy a new hat.

Sunday Sermon

2011-09-28T10:23:00.000-07:00

I'm fairly sure I have a relatively decent and non-sucky sermon tying this week's reading from Philippians to stewardship.

On being taken care of

2011-09-24T08:13:00.000-07:00

I've been officiating high school football for a very long time. When I was in Washington it was all business and the officials were viewed as just another cost of doing business for the schools.

When I was in Montana, because there were only nine of us and we covered the same five schools all the time and lived in those small communities, it was overly friendly. We were viewed, I think, as a necessary evil to be tolerated and we were tolerated because everybody knew us personally.

Here in Oregon, however, things are different. The association I am now part of is large and very professional, but not overly so. It's very much like Washington in that regards. But what's different from here than any other place I've officiated at is the schools. All of the schools I've worked for so far have treated us not as a cost of doing business, or as a necessary evil, but as a vital part of the game and they've done their best to treat us as such. Every place has made sure that we are fed at halftime (and between games sometimes). They all make sure we have water or Gatorade available to keep us hydrated. And they have all said, "Thanks for being here."

Yep . . . I hope to be in this place for a very long time, and the church is just part of the reason.

Odd Phone Call

2011-09-23T11:07:00.000-07:00

Yesterday while I working the football game I got a call on my phone from Mark (no, not you). He said he had attended church once and was calling me because his 80-year old mother was late in getting to where she was supposed to be and wanted to know if I could help.

Um . . . my first thought was, "Why are you calling me?"

Anyway, it was a few hours later before I was able to return the phone call and it turns out that mom is fine. But that lead to a discussion in which he spent most of the time telling me how impressed he was with the sermon and the liturgy and that he would be making our parish his permanent home.

I hate it when people talk to me like they've known me for years and I can't place them at all.

Oh well; maybe it'll all come back to me when he shows up this Sunday.

Busy Week Ahead

2011-09-18T13:52:00.001-07:00

Unlike weeks I have where in things sort of go haywire because that's life -- sewer problems, graffiti, cut phone lines, etc. -- this one is simply starting off with a jam packed week.

Monday is the Men's breakfast, a phone meeting, two other sliding appointments and (hopefully) an afternoon appointment with the former rector.

Tuesday morning is fine, but then a parishioner meeting at 1, funeral at 2:30, football game at 4:30.

Wednesday is parishioner meting at 9, grieving family at 11, Eucharist at 12:15, football game at 4:30, and football meeting at 5:45.

Thursday is a meeting in Roseburg most of the day and a football game when I get home.

Friday is laundry with a double header that afternoon and evening.

Saturday I meet with my Altar Guild.

Sunday is a day of rest??

MDA Jail

2011-09-14T09:20:00.000-07:00

I'm off to MDA Jail shortly.

If you can donate, please do so by going HERE and help Jerry's kids.

MDA Fundraiser

2011-09-10T12:09:00.000-07:00

I agreed to be part of the MDA fundraiser in which I "go to jail" and try to raise "bail" money.

So, what happens when you combine a really bad fundraiser with church security issues with a father-in-law who recently died? You end up with someone who hasn't really gotten around to raising any money for MDA in the allotted time.

I'll be in "jail" this coming Wednesday. If any of my four readers would like to donate to the cause, I'm pretty sure you can go HERE and make an online donation.

On the other hand, I'm not exactly techno-priesty-boy either, so there's a good chance the link doesn't work and an even better chance that I've opened both myself and the entire MDA organization to a hack job and losing millions of dollars.

But try it anyway. Go HERE and make a donation for a good cause.

Thanks.

At least it wasn't me

2011-09-07T16:08:00.000-07:00

Since being called to my new parish, I have had to deal with failed sewer lines, asbestos tile, carpet replacement, a few acts of vandalism, cut phone lines & security issues necessitating rekeying the locks, and one or two other things I can't now recall.

At least I'm not the dean of the National Cathedral in Washington, D.C. where they were struck by an earthquake that damaged the main tower and now, today, having a 500' crane collapse on the sight damaging buildings and cars.

Luckily nobody was killed. And yet another reason to appreciate small(er) church ministry.

Game Day

2011-09-03T10:55:00.000-07:00

My first game in the new place was last night. I worked as the back judge for probably only the fourth time ever. I was a little nervous about that, but this was probably the perfect game to start there because both schools were predominantly running teams. So that meant I could settle into the position without all the deep threats for which the BJ is responsible to cover.

As a result, I had a good game.

And the best play of the night (as far as our crew was concerned) was a failed two-point conversion in which the runner fumbled at the 1, the ball rolled into the end zone and was recovered by the defense. What made it a great play was the fact that nobody blew a whistle, we had three bean bags on the play, and we let the play go until the ball was recovered by the defense.

Yep, it was a good night and a great way to start the season.

And now, because it's been a rough week in the office, I'm off to work on my sermon for tomorrow.

Some Mondays are worse than others

2011-08-29T09:58:00.001-07:00

Last week while I was out of town I got a call from our alarm company that said the alarm had been tripped several times. I couldn't exactly do anything about it, but I had someone check it out. Nothing seemed to be amiss.

It happened later that night and I noticed another door also unlocked.

And then yesterday we discovered that our phones didn't work. Now things are getting weird.

We called the phone guy and he discovered that the phone lines to the building had been cut, which also disables our alarm system.

Monday weirdness that I could do without.

sigh

2011-08-27T09:52:00.000-07:00

A lazy Saturday morning, getting ready for family pictures for the new parish directory, perusing through the football rules book, ESPN on in the background with a high school football game . . .

And being totally un-enthused and resigned to the fact that I'll have to wear those damned black pants for every game.

Black pants should not be worn by officials until at least October 20.

And now I'll quit my whining.

Really.

Montana

2011-08-24T21:44:00.000-07:00

I'm not in Montana anymore. But I still have fond memories of the place and part of me is still there (I haven't been totally Oregonified yet).

So, as I've been following the Little League World Series, I've been pulling for the Boys from Billings. And tonight in their game with the powerful California team, they won with a walk off home run in the bottom of the 7th inning.

Go Montana!

Testing

2011-08-23T21:03:00.000-07:00

I am currently taking the 2011 football rules test.

It's online.

On the computer.

So far I've only had one technical glitch, which is good. It's also good that I don't have to completely fill in the appropriate bubble with a #2 pencil.
==============================

I also think the tests are getting easier. I just finished with a score of 99/100.

Sad News

2011-08-23T16:21:00.000-07:00

I went home for lunch and turned on ESPN's Outside the Lines to hear this:

Pat Summit, head coach of the Tennessee Lady Vols basketball team, has been diagnosed with early onset dementia, Alzheimer's type. She is 59 years old.

Prayers for Pat and her family as they learn to live with this disease.

Home

2011-08-21T21:40:00.000-07:00

And I'm home.

I've actually been home for just over 24 hours now. The funeral service for my father-in-law went as well as could be expected. The church where it was held was very gracious. It was well attended. We had enough cookies and brownies and whatnot to help supply their coffee hour for the next four weeks. And I met a lapsed Catholic who was making noises about coming back to the Episcopal church. The sermon was passable, not stellar, but passable.

And then I got in my car and drove. And drove. And drove. And drove. And drove. And ten hours later I pulled into the driveway.

Regular services today, a nap, a football meeting, and I'm glad to be home.

Ob-la di, ob-la da

2011-08-15T13:55:00.000-07:00

My father-in-law died this past Friday. I got a call at 3:40 a.m. from my mother-in-law instructing us to "get here as soon as you can."

Gotta give credit to the two women I live with -- they were up, dressed, packed for the weekend, out the door and on the road by 5. I drove the whole way while Mrs. Ref received updates. I also called another church and asked the secretary there (because my secretary was on vacation) to see if she couldn't track down a supply priest for Sunday as I would not be home in time. All in all, we did pretty good for following up on contingency plans while driving north.

As it turned out, we did not make it to the hospital before he died.

And now comes the job of tying up loose ends. The memorial service will be at the Episcopal church in Wenatchee and they have really been helpful to us through this. So this week is busy prepping for both Saturday and Sunday services -- along with a couple of really long drives thrown in there as well.

Give rest, O Christ, to your servant with your saints.

Football Stuff

2011-08-10T21:22:00.001-07:00

I attended my very first football meeting here in OR this evening. For the most part, I'm impressed with the group. It seems to be a good bunch of guys, and they seem to have their stuff in order. I began in rookie school (required for all new and incoming officials), then we transitioned into the regular meeting which essentially meant going over registration, handing out packets to those of us who are registered, and other housekeeping for the season.

The good news is that we are underway, I'm registered, and things seem to be clicking.

The bad news is that they are going to wear those damn black pants for every varsity game (sad goodbye to the white knickers), they wear black shorts for sub-varsity games when it's hot, and in my new packet of rules book and case book there was one (count it . . . ONE) official's patch. Hmm . . . three shirts, one patch.

Time to go buy some velcro.

Some Days

2011-08-10T13:28:00.000-07:00

Some days you just want to sit and play solitaire, eat Ding Dongs and watch SportsCenter all day long.

This would be one of those days.

Sermon, Proper 14A, Matthew 14:22-33

2011-08-07T12:41:00.000-07:00

Because I haven't done this in awhile:
============================================

Matthew is a kingly gospel. Matthew asks us to fuse our faith and ethics. Matthew is a gospel calling us TO action.

Last week we heard the story of the five loaves, two fish and 5000 men. Last week I talked about fact and truth. Last week I said that we need to change our perspective, stop focusing on the facts of our shortcomings and live into the truth of God’s abundance.

This week we hear the immediate follow-up to that story. The crowds have been fed and gone home. Jesus spends some much needed time alone in prayer, and he has sent the disciples by boat across Lake Galilee to Gennesaret.

But while they are crossing the lake, the weather turns nasty and the disciples are caught in a storm that lasts all night. The boat is battered by the waves, tossed to and fro. Wind whips around them so hard they have to yell to be heard. Rain pours down on them adding to their misery and fear. Being on the water in a storm like that is no fun – just watch Deadliest Catch or listen to the words of The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.

After fighting the storm all night and into the morning, the disciples see Jesus walking across the water toward them. The disciples at first don’t recognize him, who would? They think he’s a ghost. But no, it’s really Jesus. And Peter says, “If it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” He does – and he does. Peter gets out of the boat and walks on water.

And about this time we hear sermons launch into stories about Jesus mastering the seas, or Jesus calling us out of the safety of the boat, or admonishing us to obey Jesus confidently in storms, the struggles of a divided faith (between Jesus and the world), or the power of Jesus to save even when we fail or something else along those lines. Which are all well and good sermon topics and are all supported by the history and tradition of the church. But let me put something out there that I’ve only heard preached on once before that I think bears repeating.

We are living in interesting times. There’s a worldwide financial crisis. Terrorism has moved out of the war-torn Middle East and into mainstream societies. Those with money, power and control continue to become more rich and powerful, as well as more isolationist and fearful of the Other, whomever the Other may be. The Church in general is facing all kinds of issues from sexual abuse scandals to irrelevancy. And the Episcopal Church in particular is being attacked by a new breed of puritan who simply cannot tolerate a church that strives to respect the dignity of every human being and welcome all into God’s loving embrace. It can certainly feel like we are being battered about by waves.

When Jesus says he came not to condemn but to save, when he says he has other sheep we do not know about, when he says that he came to call the sinners not the righteous, we need to understand that these and other sayings imply a welcome and inclusiveness that we ourselves may find unsettling. When Jesus says to feed the hungry, clothe the naked and shelter the homeless, we need to find ways to make that happen rather than blame the hungry, naked and homeless for their plight while looking for ways to cut their support and make the lives of the powerful that much easier.

The church has an obligation and requirement to teach and live the tenets of the orthodox faith. But the church also has a mandate to reflect the love of Christ to ALL people and to respect the dignity of EVERY human being. We need to understand that all means ALL – not just those whom we approve.

If we are radically inclusive, if we welcome all, if we look for those sheep we don’t know about, then we will have helped to build a church not only of great diversity but one that challenges us and has the ability to make us uncomfortable at times. That can be both exciting and scary. It can make us feel like we are being battered about all night by the waves of change. It can make us, like Peter, long to get out of the boat.

In times of storm, we may think we see Jesus “out there,” coming toward us on the water. In times of storm, we may feel that we would rather walk with Jesus on the water than fight the storm in the boat. In times of storm, we may call out to Jesus to be taken out of the boat. So we step out of the boat, taking our own path to Jesus, leaving the others behind. But eventually, like Peter, we discover that we can’t make the journey alone and we begin to sink. And when we sink, Jesus rescues us, keeps us from drowning, and puts us right back in the boat.

For those of us left behind in the boat, we are diminished when someone chooses to walk apart. There is one less person to help assist us. There is one less person to give input. There is one less person to help face the storm. But for those left behind, we carry on nonetheless, assured in the knowledge that it was Jesus who sent us out into those perilous waters in the first place.

We are all in this boat together. No one said it would be easy. We are not on a Carnival cruise ship having our every need and whim catered to. No – this isn’t a pleasure cruise. Instead, we are on a working fishing boat. Think back again to Deadliest Catch. It is hard work. We often seem to be battered by the wind and waves of change. We may not always get along with our crewmates. And we just might lose our life.

There are two things I want you to take from this story. The first is that point about being part of a crew on a working fishing boat. It’s hard work. There are times when we will be battered. But we are also better with each other than without, and we are diminished when one chooses to leave. None of us can say, “I have no need of you,” and expect to walk on water for very long.

The second is that we are fishing for people. Or, rather, we are searching for people in danger of sinking. When we find one, we need to follow the disciples’ example and welcome them into the boat no questions asked. There needs to be room in this boat for everyone who was sinking.

Like last week, there are facts and truths to this story. The fact is that this isn’t always easy and we do get battered about. The truth is that in both today’s gospel passage and in the here and now, unlike the person walking alone on the water, the boat doesn’t sink. Amen.

Reel Theology

2011-08-04T15:36:00.001-07:00

Tonight is our second ever Reel Theology: Dinner & A Movie.

Tonight we're viewing Disney/Pixar's UP, because, as promised, I needed to follow Pale Rider with something a little more . . . family friendly.

Topics such as welcome/invitation, "God's Will," idealized futures and present focus, change, greed and selfishness, and the ever present stuff are all on my discussion list.

Should be fun. Not to mention it's a potluck.

Sermons

2011-08-02T10:07:00.001-07:00

Funny thing about sermons -- the ones I have trouble with and/or think pretty much suck always seem to go over well with the parishioners; the ones I really think are fantabulousistic often result in the obligatory and routine, "Nice sermon, Father."

Wonder why that is?

Grrr

2011-07-27T13:54:00.000-07:00

I'm not happy with how my sermon is coming out; but I'm not quite sure what to do about it.

And now I find myself looking forward to next week's gospel and sermon instead of concentrating on this week's sermon.

Football News

2011-07-22T13:16:00.000-07:00

I had the pleasure of attending my first football meeting the other night. It was basically an informational meeting for new people wanting to become a football official. I got a good feeling from this group and I'm looking forward to being part of this association.

That is, with the exception of one thing.

They do all of the administrative stuff online. Registration and dues all the way down to game assignments are done online.

When I got home from the meeting, I went ahead and registered. Funny thing, though, all of my Montana information was already loaded into the system. I sort of feel like Paul here -- I am speaking in terms you can understand, for this is a great mystery.

So I updated the system with my Oregon information, gave it my credit card number, hit the OK button and . . . promptly got a receipt listing all of my Montana information. Oy. I was then directed to choose an association group to formally belong to. My group is the Rogue Valley Association because, well, we live in the Rogue Valley. But that group was not on the list of selection. Grrr.

The very next morning I called the support line for Oregon officials and spoke with a very nice lady named Ronni. She assured me that she would take care of the problems and let me know when that happened. Later in the day I got an e-mail from her saying that yes, she had updated my information, added the RVA group to the site, and added me to the RVA group.

The next step is for me to get into my group and block out days that I can't work games. Obviously Sundays are out, but Thursdays are also out what with out of town meetings, and other parish activities in the evenings. But the system is not recognizing me as a valid member and instead tells me to contact the RVA administrator for help. My vocabulary is going beyond "Oy," and "Grrr" at this point. I've got an e-mail into him to find out exactly what is going on.

What was wrong with simply mailing in a check and getting a list of game assignments at the meetings? Frickin' computers.

This is Way Cool

2011-07-19T20:39:00.000-07:00

Okay . . . I'm not into cars. They're sort of like magic to me. I put things in them (keys and fuel) and they go where I point them. Even so . . .

This is Way Cool.

Rain

2011-07-18T21:03:00.000-07:00

Yesterday either before or after service (I forget which), a parishioner quipped, "This is some interesting weather you've brought with you from Montana."

She was speaking of rain -- apparently something this area doesn't get from about July 1 through September 15 (or something like that).

It rained on and off again today. I went for a bike ride after work in a light drizzle and it felt wonderful. And it's raining hard as I write this post.

Summer rains are a wonderful thing.

Some Bad News and Some Good News

2011-07-13T20:18:00.000-07:00

Bad News: The front doors of the church were graffiti'd with an inverted pentagram and "Save me from the Angels" written all around it.

I called the police just because. They sent out an investigator who took pictures and asked that I call her back with a damage estimate for her report. I had my sexton sand off the "art" and sent out an e-mail to the vestry: Problems vs. Opportunities - the problem of vandalism can be seen as an opportunity to paint the doors red. We'll see what they say.

The good news in all this was that the vandalism didn't include any vulgarity or racial/religious slurs. If you're going to get "tagged," this was the way to do it.

Good News: I heard from another guy in the football pool this evening. He told me again about the informational meeting and answered several questions I had about the area and pool. In general, it sounds like they've got a good group.

So . . . Are you ready for some football??

This bodes well

2011-07-09T14:47:00.000-07:00

In my previous post, I said that I contacted the local commissioner about joining up with their pool as an official.

The good news: I heard back from him the same day, gave me the date and time of an informational meeting they are having, and said he was looking forward to meeting me.

The better news: The meeting will be held at Bruno's Pizza over in Medford.

It's a good sign when the group's first meeting involves pizza and beer.

And speaking of football

2011-07-08T13:40:00.000-07:00

I just sent an e-mail to the commissioner of the local officials' pool letting him know that I would like to be part of the group.

This was spurred on by 1) early July is about the time I would start thinking about getting ready for the season, and 2) I received a catalog in the mail yesterday for equipment.

So I did some googling and looking around until I found what I needed and shot the guy an e-mail.

We shall see.

CREDO Cancelled

2011-07-05T09:26:00.000-07:00

So . . . after looking at the reality of my specific situation here, contemplating trying to finish all of the required pre-conference work in the (very) limited time allowed, acknowledging Mrs. Ref's comment that yes, I probably would rather be on a football field instead of at a conference, and generally praying about the whole thing, I've decided to withdraw my name from the conference.

Sorry, Dawn, but I won't be in Florida this year.

I'll be contacting all the necessary people (CREDO, travel agent and supply priest) to let them all know.

This is a relief. CREDO is supposed to be a time to "reflect on experiences, skills and talents, engage vigorously in a vocational discernment process, and create a personal and comprehensive plan for [the] future," while also being a time of refreshment and regeneration. Although in general this was the right time for me to go, the reality is that this has turned into the wrong time to go. And if CREDO is supposed to be all it says it's supposed to be, it's probably not a good idea to enter into it bitching and moaning about wondering how I'm going to get all the required pre-conference work done in the time allotted and increasing my stress level to a point on par with a letter beginning, "Greetings from the I.R.S."

And now, back to work.

Futbol

2011-07-02T09:03:00.000-07:00

The girls are still asleep. It's too early for a baseball game. The NFL is still locked out. The NBA is also locked out (not crying about that, though). And there's a lot of "Paid Programming" on at the moment.

I turned on ESPN and found the USA vs. Columbia in the Women's FIFA World Cup. I'm not a big soccer fan, but, hey, it's better than watching a whole program on the Amazing Slice-O-Matic, or how to Recession Proof Your Home (all for 3 easy payments of 39.95 . . . unless I order RIGHT NOW and have one payment removed).

So anyway . . . I'm watching this futbol game. The U.S. has already had two good scoring chances and missed them both (and they have scored once while I was writing this post). There's also this thing called "Offside." This is illegal and apparently happens when an offensive player moves between the goal and the last defender before the ball is kicked by a teammate. That offside line is constantly moving, and the line judge has to really pay attention to the defenders, attackers and ball placement. And, in my limited knowledge/experience of the game, this seems to be the cause of most controversy.

It seems to me that soccer/futbol/the beautiful game/whatever you want to call it, would be much improved if they had a blue line. That would be so much easier to officiate and remove the ambiguous line that line judges have to deal with now. They should also add a second referee, because, really, a soccer field is a HUGE piece of real estate for one person to cover.

Things that annoy me

2011-06-29T14:21:00.000-07:00

Pushy salesmen.

Just took a call from a local radio station selling ad spots to help with the local blood drive. A worthy cause, certainly. But insisting that you need my commitment today is a sure-fire way to not sell a spot.

If your deadline was today, you probably should've been making calls back in May and June.

CREDO

2011-06-29T11:57:00.000-07:00

After six years of being pestered by CREDO to attend one of their events, I finally agreed and signed up for one -- in Florida, of all places.

My rational was simple: I was either going to be in a position long enough where I thought it would be worthwhile, or I was going to be in a new place where it might be helpful. As it turned out, I am in a new place. I am a new rector of a larger congregation in a larger city; from what I've read, this is a good time to attend a CREDO conference.

My CREDO bag and binder arrived today. The bag is for, I'm assuming, all the obligatory conference stuff that will be handed out. The binder is chock full of information and assignments that "must be completed NO LATER THAN AUGUST 8" (emphasis in original).

So, I'll be in the middle of Florida in the middle of September for a CREDO conference.

I wish I could say I was excited.

The importance of spelling

2011-06-27T21:15:00.000-07:00

I have been called a human spell check on more than one occasion. I was never very good in English (never understood, for instance, why it was necessary to diagram a sentence) and I still have trouble knowing the difference between adverbs and adjectives or what exactly is meant by perfect past tense. But for some reason, I write and spell exceedingly well. Mrs. Ref, not so much.

I have been trying to extol the importance of spelling and good grammar, especially in written form, to The Kid ever since I can remember. Tonight that lesson just may have paid off.

I was helping her with her first resume as she sets out to try and find a job (because now that she's 18, we're collecting rent -- not really). She had a mock resume that she had to do for one of her classes while we were still in Montana. It wasn't bad for a first effort.

However, I did point out to her that if you don't want people to think you're stupid, it would be a good idea to probably not mention that you were involved in the Achidemic Olympics.

Hopefully lesson learned.

Today

2011-06-24T22:01:00.003-07:00

Today is the Feast of St. John the Baptist.
Today is The Kid's 18th birthday.
Today I'm wondering how I got to be that old.
Today I didn't throw things at my computer (see below).
Today The Kid is off on an overnight babysitting gig.
Today the house is empty except for the two parents.
Today we are missing Emma.
Today . . . well . . . Today is Today.

Tech Training

2011-06-24T19:14:00.003-07:00

We had a couple of diocesan computer gurus down here to help people learn about updating parish websites through the diocesan page.

All I can say is: I managed not to throw anything or swear out loud.

I need a drink.

Goodbye

2011-06-22T13:07:00.002-07:00

I lost one of my favorites today. Emma, after an extended sightseeing trip, heads back to Mongolia.

And so it goes. And life goes on. And I don't particularly have to like it at the moment.

Along with Julie and Su, this one also leaves a hole.

Goodbye, good luck, and we love you.

A very long day

2011-06-18T20:47:00.003-07:00

It was a very long day today and yesterday. We drove up north with Emma's family because they wanted to see the Falls and do some shopping. Got to the motel about 8:30 last night. "Slept" on a hard, uncomfortable bed. Went to the Falls in the rain. Did some shopping at Big Mega Outlet Mall. The Kid and I drove home together. My folks, Mrs. Ref and the rest of the gang left later.

The Kid has been filling out an online job app for Petco.

I'm exhausted.

Tomorrow is Trinity Sunday. Maybe it'll preach better with a muddled mind.

Rocks of faith

2011-06-16T17:45:00.003-07:00

When I first moved to the little town and smaller church in SW Montana, one of my first big projects was to get them to allow me to install a labyrinth in the yard. It wasn't gorgeous, but it was functional, and it was big. I used a ton (well, maybe a quarter ton) of rocks from the local tailing piles to lay it out. I took a picture of it and it's somewhere on my blog.

It actually got a fair amount of use from both parishioners, townsfolk and passersby.

Shortly after I left, the congregation saw fit to remove that labyrinth (something about mowing the yard). It may return again someday in a better form, who knows.

In today's mail was one of those "if it fits, it ships" boxes from the USPS that weighed more than it should have. When I opened it up, there was one of the rocks from the labyrinth with the signatures of the majority of my former parishioners.

Rocks of faith, indeed.

Game Seven

2011-06-15T21:29:00.003-07:00

Supposedly the two most exciting words in sports. Tonight was Game Seven of the Stanley Cup Playoffs. Boston Bruins at the Vancouver Canucks. I was seriously excited for this game. And, as I mentioned before, I was pulling for the Canucks.

Unfortunately, Game Seven looked more like a preseason scrimmage that Vancouver didn't want to play in.

So, congratulations to the Boston Bruins, a team that had to win three Game Sevens in the playoffs to earn the Cup.

Pentecost

2011-06-12T12:41:00.003-07:00

Today is Pentecost.

The church was all decked out in red, multiple parishioners wore red, we had red helium-filled balloons, and the reading from Acts was read in many tongues.

Thanks to a creative member of our worship committee, Acts 2:1-21 was read in English, Portuguese, Russian, Spanish, German, French and ASL -- all at the same time. Well, actually, it was more like "Row, Row, Row your boat" in the round, but we did have quite the din of languages. It was great and the parishioners loved it.

I'm sensing the beginning of a new tradition.

And on top of it, Emma's parents and aunt and uncle from Mongolia were in attendance at the later service.

It was a great day at church. Happy Pentecost.

Ummm

2011-06-11T08:40:00.002-07:00

I was flipping through channels recently and came across SportsNation. It's a talk/game show thing on ESPN hosted by Michelle Beadle and Colin Cowherd. I am not a big Colin Cowherd fan for a variety of reasons, but at least he's marginally tolerable on this show. However, I have yet another reason to be annoyed with Colin.

On this particular show, they were discussing the courting of Terrell Pryor by the Saskatchewan Roughriders of the CFL. Colin began denigrating the CFL, talking about their "weird rules" and "400 yard end zones." Okay, they do have different rules and a bigger field (with 20 yard end zones), so I understand that. But then he started going off on the fact that the CFL has "two teams with the same name. Seriously -- they have two teams named Roughriders!"

This annoyed me for a few reasons:

First, on a technical note, one team was the Roughriders, and the other team was the Rough Riders.

Second, if you're going to denigrate a league for having two teams with the same name, you should at least know the history of the league and understand that there were originally two separate leagues, hence the two teams with same name.

Third, the Ottawa Rough Riders unfortunately folded a few years ago and there won't be a team in Ottawa until at least next year. So, right now, there is only ONE Roughrider team in the CFL.

Fourth, why pick on the CFL? Because they're from Canada? Because you think everything U.S. is better?

Fifth, and probably what annoyed me most, was Colin's total lack of equivalency/parity/consistency. If you're going to denigrate the CFL for having two teams with the same name, then you also need to slam the SEC who have the Auburn TIGERS and the LSU TIGERS. You should probably also slam MLB, who have one team from Cincinnati named the Red Stockings and one team from Boston named the Red Sox. Last time I looked, stockings and sox were the same thing.

And, yes, it's Saturday morning, all the girls are still in bed, and I have nothing better to do at the moment. Why do you ask?

Gifts

2011-06-10T10:50:00.002-07:00

Emma's parents and aunt and uncle arrived for their visit on Wednesday. It was a long trip to PDX and back, but everything went well. Their English is, well, marginally better than my Mongolian, so the communication gap is rather interesting.

I managed to ask them if they were hungry. They were. I tried to figure out what they might want to eat. The only word they knew for sure was, "Steak." :)

So we found a restaurant and everybody had a good meal.

Then on Thursday we gathered at our house for dinner. Had a good meal of our favorite chicken dish and salad. After a quick dinner, I had to scoot off to a meeting at church, but was home at a reasonable hour. When I got back, everyone was playing on the Wii. Mrs. Ref said, "Do you have any idea how hard it is to explain the concept of a hula hoop to someone who doesn't speak English??"

After a few Wii games, they presented us with gifts from Mongolia. The Kid received chopsticks, a fan, a t-shirt and small decorative dolls in traditional garb. Mrs. Ref received a nice purse and maybe something else I can't remember. I received a wallet with Chinggis Khan on it, a t-shirt, and this (scroll down to the very bottom). I asked if I needed to share a drink with the men, but was told no.

So I'm thinking that it will go sit on the shelf in my office. Unless any of you out there are vodka drinkers, then I'll share some with you.

Denial

2011-06-06T14:02:00.002-07:00

I went home for lunch today.

Our temp daughter (foreign exchange from Mongolia) was home because, as a "graduating" senior, she's finished with school. I thought she might take this time to enjoy the sunshine, wander around with some friends downtown and generally enjoy herself.

Nope.

She's organizing her room, cleaning up, sorting and packing in preparation for her return home.

I'm not talking about this.

Eleven seconds

2011-06-04T21:22:00.002-07:00

I got to watch Game 2 of the Stanley Cup Finals tonight. The best of seven series has the Vancouver Canucks playing the Boston Bruins.

I really wasn't sure who I was rooting for, originally. The Canucks are (for me) the local hockey club; being part of the (so people from the U.S. say) Pacific Northwest. They've changed their uniforms recently to have the same color scheme as the Seattle Seahawks. It's been awhile since Lord Stanley's Cup resided in Canada.

The Bruins are one of the "Original 6" teams of the NHL and have a long history. They had Bobby Orr. They haven't won the Cup since 1972. They haven't changed their jerseys.

So, I was torn on who to root for. As the game progressed, Vancouver fell behind 3-2, and I found myself hoping they could tie it up; and when they did, I cheered. The game went into OT and off the opening face-off, Vancouver stole the puck, charged the net, delayed the shot (which pulled the goalie out of position) and scored on a beautiful wrap around. All in the first 11 seconds of OT.

And I knew then that I was pulling for the Canucks. Now, here's hoping they can finish it off and bring the Cup back to Canada, eh.

Aiding, Abetting or Enabling

2011-06-03T16:28:00.004-07:00

When I got back from our vacation to see the in-laws and then clergy conference, I was greeted with a revolving door of people needing to talk to me. A homeless couple asking for assistance, a 15-year old girl needing a quiet place, and a mother dealing with her daughter's impending bitter divorce were three of the more memorable visits to my office.

Since that then I've been dealing with the homeless couple on almost a daily basis. Last weekend I sprung for a hotel room for them. I've allowed them to keep what few belongings they have in the furnace room at church. And I've put them up for several nights where we really aren't equipped to allow people to stay.

All this while promised jobs have fallen through, the local shelter is already filled to capacity and unable to accept more people, and it's been raining pretty steadily on top of it all. Which means that I receive daily calls, usually involving tears and/or panicky tones, describing all of the above and wondering if there isn't anything else I can do or if "we can stay there just this one more night" because the only place left is under the bridge.

So I agree to help them again. And I get frustrated that I can't do more, or that I don't have a better solution. And I go to bed and wake up wondering if I'm aiding, abetting or enabling these two people.*

*Okay, maybe not really "abetting," since I'm not encouraging or helping in the committing of a crime, but it made the title of the post better.

It's all about timing

2011-06-02T10:57:00.002-07:00

My very first day on the job here is really just a blur. Well, actually, most of the first two weeks here is one big blur of activity as I tried to get settled in, meet people and deal with all kinds of things coming across my desk and through my office.

On that first day, the secretary and another volunteer came to me with the cremains of one George T.

"We were cleaning out the chapel and found George tucked away behind the altar. What would you like us to do with him?"

After ascertaining a few facts (1. his funeral service was held in August of 2006; 2. there was no family information or contact information listed in our books or with the cremains), I made probably my first executive decision of my tenure: "Let's scatter him in the rose garden."

Almost EXACTLY six months later, I received a call from his daughter who wanted to schedule a service in July to scatter his ashes.

I informed her that we have already taken care of that.

Sermon, Easter 6, John 14:15-21

2011-05-31T10:30:00.002-07:00

Well, here's something I haven't done in awhile:

================================

I want to tell you a story about an old priest. He had served St. Swithin’s for as long as anyone could remember. This priest cared for his congregation like a mother cares for her children. He was there to welcome and instruct new members. He baptized new converts and the children of parishioners. He held catechism courses for all those desiring to be confirmed. He married sons and daughters and he buried mothers and fathers. He welcomed all people of the community into the parish because, as he put it, they were too small to do otherwise. He also performed minor maintenance of the building and grounds since the congregation couldn’t afford to pay professionals.

One day he discovered that he was dying. The fact he was going to die didn’t bother him so much as the fact that his small congregation would be left leaderless, set adrift by the tides of time. And that bothered him more than he could say. So he set about planning for his imminent departure.

He recruited some new people to be visible leaders. He invited and trained several others to lead services. He found a retired priest who was willing to make emergency pastoral visits. He trained a building and grounds crew and a new parish secretary. And he preached sermons focusing on the presence of the Holy Spirit and how, even though he would not be with them, they would not be abandoned.

The people were, understandably, reluctant at first, eventually becoming resigned to the fact that this chapter of his life was over. There was some anger and plenty of tears throughout the process. But with his guidance, they began to take more and more ownership of both the physical facility and their spiritual lives.

Finally the day came when he died. He passed quietly from this world to the next surrounded by friends and family. A memorial service was held with the expected laughter and tears, and the congregation mourned his passing. But then an interesting and, as he would way, predictable thing happened: they began to put their assigned roles to work and they made the decision that they could not let their parish die.

People began doing building maintenance on a regular basis for things they could handle. In addition to pitching in with yard work, people learned of plumbing and electrical experience in their midst. They discovered they had a continued interest in education and found teachers among them, as well as a willingness to invite outsiders to make presentations. Their worship leaders continued to develop their skills. And the surrounding community that had seen this place as the sleepy little church on the outskirts of town now saw a place thriving with activity and spirit. Their sense of parish community deepened and they recognized the gift of God’s grace and spirit everywhere they looked.

Liturgically speaking, we are in an interesting place. For the first three Sundays of Easter, we hear resurrection stories: Jesus appearing in the room with the disciples, the road to Emmaus, and a salmon bake on the beach. On the last three Sundays of Easter we hear selections from Jesus’ lengthy farewell discourse from John’s gospel, which took place during the Last Supper before his trial and crucifixion.

Why this dual focus? It’s Easter, man! Alleluia! Christ is risen! The Lord is risen indeed! Alleluia! Shouldn’t we be focusing on the joys of the resurrection? Isn’t this why we don’t recite the confession, why I make you stand for the prayers and communion, and why there is an Easter egg hunt next week? If we are focused on the resurrection, why go back to the time of the Last Supper and Jesus’ impending death?

The answer to that question is because, liturgically speaking, Jesus ascends to the Father this Thursday (it says so on the calendar). Yes, we are celebrating Easter and the resurrection; but, through the assigned readings, we are also being prepared for Jesus’ departure, just as he was preparing those eleven disciples for his imminent departure in the form of the crucifixion.

Those disciples had given up three years of their lives, leaving behind families, friends and careers. They had agreed to follow an itinerant preacher because of his claims to be of God, his miracle works and their search for something bigger than themselves. Three years of teaching and miracles and a firsthand experience with the divine ends with a betrayal and crucifixion. Jesus is taking this time to prepare them for his absence.

“I will not leave you orphaned. In a little while the world will not see me, but you will see me.” Jesus foreshadows his crucifixion and resurrection. He is acknowledging that they will feel like orphans. But he also gives them hope that they will see him again shortly.

The disciples went through the trauma of the crucifixion, the despair of his death, the feeling of being abandoned and left to their own devices, and the joy of the resurrection. That wasn’t the end of the story. The next part came with his appearances and his ascension. And this time the disciples were ready to be on their own. But they weren’t totally on their own because the Advocate, the Spirit of truth, the Holy Spirit, came to abide in them.

I told the story of the dying priest and the living congregation because it symbolizes today’s gospel. The leader was going to die and be taken from his congregation, leaving them to fend for themselves. The leader of the disciples was going to die and be taken from them, leaving them to fend for themselves. And in both cases, the priest and Jesus prepared the people to carry on. In both cases, the congregation and the disciples discovered that they were capable, that theirs wasn’t a shallow faith, that they would carry on, and, more importantly, that the Holy Spirit dwelled within in them.

Liturgically speaking, these are interesting times as our days with the resurrected Christ are coming to a close and he prepares us for life after the ascension. My prayer for this congregation is that we see these times as more than liturgical dates on our calendars and see them as the days when the Holy Spirit abides in us leading us to do greater things. My prayer for this congregation is that we live Spirit-filled and interesting lives. Amen.